Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)

Signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) in adults include deep emotional detachment, inability to form lasting relationships, chronic distrust, difficulty showing affection, emotional numbness, hyper-independence, frequent irritability, and a tendency towards social withdrawal or conversely, overly clinging behavior (Disinhibited RAD). Adults with RAD often struggle with emotional regulation, fear abandonment, and may experience anxiety, depression, and feelings of emptiness, stemming from a history of severe neglect or inconsistent care in childhood. 

Core Symptoms in Adults

• Emotional Detachment: Difficulty feeling or expressing positive emotions like love, joy, or empathy; feeling numb or empty inside.
• Relationship Difficulties: Trouble forming secure, deep attachments, leading to fragile or superficial relationships; fear of intimacy.
• Trust Issues: Pervasive distrust of others, even supportive individuals; significant fear of rejection or abandonment.
• Social Withdrawal: Isolating themselves, avoiding social interaction, and preferring to be alone.
• Emotional Dysregulation: Intense mood swings, inexplicable sadness, irritability, or fear.
• Lack of Affection: Aversion to or inability to give or receive comfort, touch, or affection.

Other Manifestations

• Self-Soothing Behaviors: Rocking, rubbing arms, or other repetitive actions.
• Hyper-Independence: Extreme difficulty accepting help or relying on others.
• Control Issues: A need to control their environment or others due to feeling unsafe.
• Negative Affect: Displaying unexplained sadness, fear, or irritability disproportionate to the situation.
• Behavioral Problems: Potential for rule-breaking or impulsive actions.

Key Considerations

• History: RAD stems from early childhood trauma, such as severe neglect, inconsistent caregivers, or growing up in restrictive environments.
  
• Two Forms: RAD can manifest as inhibited (withdrawn, detached) or disinhibited (overly familiar, lacking boundaries), though the inhibited form is more commonly associated with RAD.
  
• Co-occurring Conditions: Adults with RAD often experience anxiety, depression, substance abuse, or other mental health challenges. 

Discovery Mood

https://discoverymood.com/blog/reactive-attachment-disorder-in-adulthood/

Columbia Mental Health

https://www.columbiapsychiatry-dc.com/counseling-blog/signs-of-reactive-attachment-disorder-in-adults/

Mayo Clinic

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/reactive-attachment-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352939

We Struggle for the Why

And we all live
And we all die
And we all struggle to get by. 

But still we laugh
And still we cry
And none of us ever find out why...

The Artist’s Tears

I'm a poet with a dried up pen.
A picture taker with a broken lens.
An actor with no lines to say.
An artist from another day.

I've lived a life not my own.
A reincarnated poet from a time unknown.
My body home to many artists souls
Still trying to be born.

I need to draw, I need to write.
Too many thoughts cloud my light.
Mere focus is not mine tonight,
No one artist can find the light.

Those nights to years
And decades passed.
The artist's tears
come home at last.

Why God? Seriously... WTF?

I came into this world with an old, worn out soul
that was paired with a battle scarred heart.
I didn't know who you were back then
but I sensed you had my back, from the start.

I was pushed around.
Bounced around.
Pounded around.
Only you held me. You were my ground.

So many times, throughout my five decades,
I look at events and see your grace at work.
But this last decade, I can't feel you anymore.
What the fuck God? You can be such a jerk.

Why save me, watch over me, all those years
only to abandon me in the end.
Is it that I've served your purpose?
Am I of no use to you anymore?
I feel betrayed. I thought you were my friend.