Amen

I attended Mass today for the first time in a very, very long time.

The Homily referenced the parable of the Good Samaritan, which has long been one of my favorites.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover it felt really good to be there, to hear and share in His Word again.

I had forgotten how beautiful it can be, what a gift it can be. I am so thankful.

Amen

No Answers Here

Sitting at the bar, a pint of courage in my hand.
Joe Cocker's "Unchain My Heart" being butchered by the band.
But I don't care, cause the words are so true.
Let me go, I want to (need to) start anew.

Would you like another? She asks as she tells me her name.
I nod that I would and I smile at her game.
If she only knew, that's the last thing I need.
I've been playing too long, I've nothing left to bleed.

So I call to her that I've changed my mind.
Just bring me the check, I've run out of time.
It didn't take me long, just one quick beer,
to know that there are no answers for me here.

I once believed...

Alone again. Alone this night.

Dwelling on my dreams and fears.

Alone again, no more light.

So many failures bring the tears.

I once could dream.

I once believed.

I fear I will never dream again.

I am alone

Sometimes the past is better left in the past.

But always that advice comes from one who speaks from experience.

People always want more in their life

and when part of their past is missing it is natural to want to discover it.

Sometimes at any cost.

I have a hidden past.

Not hidden as much as it once was, but still hidden.

The parts I have learned, uncovered,

are proof positive that the past is better left in the past.

Still, I cannot seem to leave well enough alone.

Surely acquiring knowledge you were better off not knowing

does not entice one to continue on down that path? So why then?

Why must I continue this journey?

I suppose, because it is MY journey.

It is the only journey I have travelled.

I think it is natural, it is compelling,

to want to know all about each and every stop I made

on the journey that brought me to this point in my life.

Perhaps in doing this I will be more able to carry on, positively.

Perhaps not.

There is risk. Always.

But I have always liked taking risks.

Perhaps because I never knew the comfort of the known,

the unknown was just as enticing?

One regret. No matter how many people surround me, I am alone.

Why have I been burdened with such a curse as loneliness?